realhumanbaby:

Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed

(via thehumpingwillow)

  • Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
  • Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
  • Guy: Well...yeah.
  • Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you